The league office has officially announced my punishment for collusion, cheating, and generally bad behavior. In short the league has been duplicated, and I’m forced to be in a new league, alone, with Cheese. Sigh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
First things first (or first thing after my whining), is a re-draft. Our two teams draft in a snake order with me drafting first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Catcher<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Davey – I was given the first pick so I\u2019d be pressured into taking Divine Diablo. 38% of Cheese\u2019s week consists of him getting me to compliment him\/his team. As Gandhi famously said, \u201cFuck that\u201d. With this pick I select Kameron Guangorena (San Mateo). <\/strong>The Austin, Texas born catcher brings a terrible attitude and I\u2019m pretty sure he uses steroids. He\u2019s also a good receiver coming off a 156 wRC+ season, and is 27 years old. Cheese – I love my boy Diablo but he’s not the best left. Sorry Davey, you missed with your pick. Jerry Yates (Nashville)<\/strong> is a monster and the best catcher in the league. It was a toss up for me between him and Doug Allerdale from Greenville but Yates has over a .400 wOBA since the start of 2036 in all competition(Cup\/League). I’m also a sucker for 8\/9 contact guys and doubles galore. Also considered: Divine Diablo (Hollywood), Doug Allerdale (Greenville), Tim Stinson (NoVa) First Base<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Cheese – This is tough. But I have to go with the 30 million dollar man, Je-Myung Yu (Buffalo)<\/strong>. He’s a mythical creature built of raw unchecked power and devastation. Since coming into the league he has not missed a game and has consistently been one of the best hitters. Sure he was in the 3L for 3 of those seasons but he also put up over 200 wRC+ in 2 of those 3 seasons and is top 5 in most every offensive category. We\u2019ll pretend he has a glove that works for this pick. Davey – I don\u2019t think we\u2019ve had the proper reaction to Javier Sanchez. He was a regular at age 19 and a bonafide star at 21 (bona fide is latin for \u201cgood faith\u201d, and the opposite is mala fide which we absolutely don\u2019t use enough). He\u2019s third all-time in WPA, first in doubles, and top ten in homers, RBI, and some other stuff I don\u2019t feel like listing. It feels like he\u2019s perpetually on the trade block and his popularity is Insignificant. Just feels he\u2019s a surefire Hall of Famer that we\u2019ve completely taken for granted. My pick is Johan Kroenig (Vancouver),<\/strong> who I\u2019ll take over Mellor because Ed is a statue in the field. Also considered: Ed Mellor (Kingston Township) Second Base<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Davey – Mario Castillo is the most non-italicized versatile player in the league, yeah? He\u2019d probably be okay at shortstop, and I\u2019m guessing ACKC would play him at catcher. I\u2019m taking Eustacio Tafalla (Oakland) <\/strong>here because I love him. Cheese – Jonas van Claveren (Phoenix)<\/strong> is better than Tafalla. Davey has rose-tinted goggles going. JVC is so good he\u2019s the only player I\u2019ve actively tried to trade for the night before a sim to avoid facing him. I\u2019m about 97.6% sure Phoenix is still in the 3L if he didn\u2019t carry them single-handedly to the SL. He then proceeded to only<\/em> bat .400 while nearly carrying the team to the PL. He also won back to back MVPs. Did I mention he\u2019s 23 and has missed less games in his ML career than Tafalla did last year? Also considered: Mario Castillo (NoVa), Max \u201cOne Leg\u201d Bortenschlager (Buffalo) Third Base<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Cheese – I was excited to pick first at Third Base, thinking there would be some big bats but they all seem to have tailed off or gotten picked as 2Bs except Yu-zeng Si (Oakland)<\/strong>. Outside of a 59 game stint for Buckhead in 2036 he has been one of the best bats in the USBA. His glove is average but he is the preeminent elite 3B bat, averaging only 152 wRC+ and .396 wOBA across 8+ seasons. Davey – Tula just asked Nova if she\u2019d ever peed with food in her mouth. I\u2019ll provide an update later. I guess the best I can do is Edward Sterrenburg (Boston).<\/strong> He can play 2B, so he can fill in for an injured Tafalla. He\u2019s also a switch-hitter, which I like, and while his ratings say he can\u2019t hit lefties his career splits are 124 wRC+ vs southpaws and 134 wRC+ vs northpaws. Also considered: death, rather than having to pick from this paltry pool of players Shortstop<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Davey – The obvious conclusion to what Chicago has done over the past two-plus seasons is that nothing matters. But if we can take a life lesson from this, I think it\u2019s the importance of not getting in your own way. The best trade is the one you don\u2019t make. Just set it to auto-draft, Dave\u2019s program is likely smarter than you are. Lineups and bullpen strategy don\u2019t really matter, and even if they did you\u2019re likely going to make the wrong decision. Melvin Thomas (Chicago)<\/strong> being played at first base is the most blatant misuse of a player in this league\u2019s history. Cheese – As has been discussed multiple times in #general, the quality of SS in USBA is pretty grim. That being said, Colm Goodwill (New Orleans)<\/strong> is the top turd. He does it all, +glove, +bat, +personality, and +driving Chase crazy. He won the Platinum Stick 2 seasons ago and should do the same again this year. Also considered: Richard Jost (Vancouver), Rio Mence (San Potato) (Cheese note: lol wtf, oh right I asked Davey to participate)<\/em> Left Field<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Cheese – Dude, his nickname is Bambino and he has 10 power. I don\u2019t care if it\u2019s Homerism, my man Kanko Umaba (Hollywood)<\/strong> is the greatest hitter in the USBA and you can\u2019t convince me otherwise. In the recent series vs Vegas he slashed a pedestrian.700\/.800\/1.600. He has had exactly 2 games all season being held hitless and been on base in every game but 1. He has a WPA rating of Yes. Sure his glove isn\u2019t the best but where else but left field can you care so little about a glove? Davey – I\u2019ll go with Jonathan Gunner (Chicago)<\/strong>, even so slightly over Joey Coco. OSA had him as a 7\/4\/6 (contact\/power\/eye) when he was taken 19th in the 2032 draft. And then he was ignored into a superstar. Also considered: Champ McCoy (San Potato), Craig Woods (Fort Worth), Joey Coco (Charleston) Center Field<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Davey – I\u2019m not willing to compromise on defense here, so I\u2019ll snag Yu-Shu Kang (Boston) <\/strong>here. <\/strong>Good speed and some pop help me feel okay about this pick, and when someone points out that he can\u2019t hit I\u2019ll tell them that batting average doesn\u2019t matter and attack them personally. Cheese – One of these days we\u2019ll have a superstar centerfielder who can hit and field. Until then I\u2019ll settle for Ramon Rodriguez (Fort Worth) <\/strong>who can field and is a pretty good hitter. It\u2019s too bad Scooter broke his toy for a few weeks. Also considered: Joey Coco (Charleston), Martin Talia (Phoenix) Right Field<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Cheese – <\/strong>Could you imagine if there was a team that had 2 of the best players in all of the league? Well, Jorge Herrera (Thunder Bay)<\/strong> is one of those two. He\u2019s a super mega ultra star. I\u2019m really glad salary isn\u2019t a concern with these teams because I think between The Bird and Sabretooth Yu my payroll is already up around \u201cmy calculator doesn\u2019t have that many zeros\u201d. I almost took Champ \u201cDon\u2019t Call Me Daniel\u201d McCoy here but I secretly held out hope I could have him or Mellor at DH. Davey – Because I took Kang with my last pick, I\u2019m willing to play Champ McCoy (San Potato)<\/strong> in the field. When he was 25, McCoy hit .192\/.273\/.364. His OPS was 150 points lower than his previous low, during his age 23 season. His age 26 season he put up an OPS more than 300 points higher. It\u2019s just the most Kerry thing I can think of. Also considered: Where did all the good RF go? Designated Hitter<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Davey – Ed Mellor (Kington Township)<\/strong> offers 100-grade power, so he\u2019s a no-brainer here. After having a borderline gold glove season in 2035, he\u2019s been a negative in the field (according to ZR) the last two seasons. That\u2019s really saying something given how broken our ZR is, and he should probably be DH\u2019d in real fake life as well. Cheese – CrosswordScooter has a ridiculous number of high caliber 23-year-old batters but Qing-nian Zexian (St. Louis)<\/strong> is the best of them all and really the best bat left. His attitude makes a dumpster fire look like an inviting stove with hot cocoa and marshmallows but there\u2019s no denying the man\u2019s ability to hit. At 22 in the PL he put up 27 HR, 161 wRC+ and won the Platinum Stick. Seems like an easy choice to take this 23-year-old. Also considered: Scott Kerin (Hollywood), Dean Jackson (St. Louis), Mario Castillo (NoVa) Starting Pitchers<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Cheese – DisneyScooter baffled me this season by letting Jesus Vidro (Thunder Bay)<\/strong> start the season with a nagging day to day injury that lasted nearly a month. So of course in that time he started 5 games, pitched 36.1 innings, and gave up only 10 runs. He also has 3 elite pitches and a +curveball to go with pinpoint control and hasn\u2019t given up a homerun since opening day. After Davey took Otero and Alfonso, the obvious choice was to take the only man who has beaten Vidro this year. Matthew Fallows (Nashville)<\/strong> is disgustingly good and I hear for the right price this future 30+ million dollar man could be yours. Finally, I took Michael Machen (San Potato)<\/strong> because hot damn he\u2019s good. Davey – [Insert painful ice cold pun here]. My first pick is Jorge Otero (Phoenix),<\/strong> who judging by the latest communications from Planet Michael, is now available. Get to it, boys. Next up is Tony Alfonso (Charleston), <\/strong>whose walk rate continues to age very well. To get a lefty onto the staff, and to continue my secret strategy of acquiring every former Houston pitcher, I\u2019ll take Zhao-ji Qiu (Buffalo)<\/strong>. Also considered: Eric Matson (Portland), Eddie Kop (NoVa), Miguel Rubia (NoVa), Rhys Maskell (Chicago), Ton Jobse (ACKC), Kevin Nogilny (Oakland) Relief Pitchers<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Davey – I find that almost every time a team \u201coverachieves\u201d, there\u2019s an elite closer as an explanation. Raul Romero should have won the Golden Ball, but Kenji Aoki (Philadelphia) <\/strong>is our league\u2019s best reliever. I, uhhh, also just realized that I haven\u2019t taken any of my own players, so Brewster Warble (NoVa)<\/strong> narrowly over Yoshi Sugimoto. Cheese – Uh this seemed like a no brainer, Ra\u00fal Romero (Portland)<\/strong> got robbed of his hardware last year and is only going to continue to anchor the elite Portland \u2018pen. Shang-de Fu (Chicago)<\/strong> keeps protecting Brett from having to do anything other than show up on Slack and taunt people for losing to him. I\u2019m 93.4% sure that Brett also doesn\u2019t know who he is. Also considered: Scott Morrison (Charleston), Joe Khokar (Panama City) The league office has officially announced my punishment for collusion, cheating, and generally bad behavior. In short the league has been duplicated, and I’m forced to be in a new league, alone, with Cheese. Sigh. First things first (or first thing after my whining), is a re-draft. Our two teams draft in a snake order\u2026 Read More »<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[18,19],"class_list":["post-307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-cheese","tag-davey"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/usba14.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/usba14.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/usba14.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usba14.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usba14.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=307"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/usba14.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/307\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":343,"href":"https:\/\/usba14.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/307\/revisions\/343"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/usba14.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usba14.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usba14.us\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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