2039 USBA Hall of Fame Public Ballot (The Davey Edition)

By | 2020-04-23

Are you guys producing a lot more ear wax during the quarantine? In your ears, I mean? – Davey’s drafted tweet

Don Brown

When she’s putting together the grocery list Baby Mama always asks if I want chips, to which I always reply “no”. Then throughout the week I’ll ask her if we have any chips. She’s a very patient woman and I love her very much.

Eduardo Alvarado

It’s my understanding the NFL Hall of Fame candidates are called into a hotel, and then they wait for a guy to come knock on their door and tell them they’re being inducted. The hilariously cruel part is they also invite people who don’t make it – those guys get a phone call telling them better luck next year. It’s the most NFL thing I can imagine.

Marc Talamante

T is for thoughtful, the caring you.
A is for altruism, the unselfish you.
L is for listen, one of your best traits.
A is for adaptable, for the world is full of unique challenges.
M is for mystery, the part of you that cannot be explained.
A is for angelic, a truly pure heart
N is for natural, the genuine side of you.
T is for treasure, of your friendship.
E is for enchant, for enchant you will.

Noel Ballard

Noel Ballard was caught stealing 252 times in his career. To put into perspective how awful that is, only three MLB players (who, you know, play 54 more games a year) have been caught more than that – Rickey Henderson, Lou Brock, and Brett Butler. Ballard was the player I most dreaded playing against.

John Downing

You guys ever look up Speedboat on Urban Dictionary? Did you know there’s an entry for Cleveland Speedboat?

Wilfred McLaughlin

Two-time MVP and he won a Silver Slugger at four different positions, both of which are super cool. One of those Silver Sluggers was won while playing SS for DC. Someone should talk to Gerth about shortstop defense, honestly it’s getting close to Rayzor CF levels.

Roy Robinson

What do you say when it’s over?
I don’t know if I should say anything at all
One day we’re rollin’ in the clover
Next thing, you know, we take the fall

Still, I think about the years since I first met you
And the way it might have been without you here
I don’t know if words from me can still upset you
But I’ve just gotta make this memory stand clear

I know I’m leavin’ here a better man
For knowin’ you this way
Things I couldn’t do before now I think I can
And I’m leavin’ here a better man

David Hudson

Ugh, I should have saved the chip story for this entry. Dammit.

Jorge Aguirre

The absurdity of Aguirre not being a first-ballot Hall of Famer is, well, absurd. He could have retired after the 2020 season and walked straight into induction.

Ralph McKinney

Good pitcher. I’ve probably watched the Simpsons more than some of you but I feel like the name Ralph will never recover from that show.