Author Archives: Davey

USBA KNORTS – End of Season 2034

Davey Enterprises is excited to announce its latest innovation, KNORTS™! In conjunction with some very helpful guest analysts we have developed: (K)nowledge(N)o(O)ther(R)ankings(T)hingy(S)eems to Have I’ve asked three esteemed members of the league to rank the USBA teams 1-32 and write blurbs for each team in their league (some went above and beyond). Big thanks to… Read More »

The Best Picks of All-Time, Part Last

What a ride, guys. Please direct any concerns/hate mail to mingo@lasvegasflamingos.com. For what it’s worth the five best total classes, in order, are 2017, 2019, 2020, 2018, and 2026. The ’26 class will enter the top three at some point next year, and the 2027 class will enter the top five around the same time.… Read More »

The Best Picks of All Time, Part II

Do you think I should have used “Part II” or “Part 2”? I like the Roman numerals more, but I also don’t want to come off as pretentious. Read Part I/1 here. 1-19, Marvin “The Martian” Martin (Houston, 2022) Marvin the Martian was created as the antithesis of Yosemite Sam – Sam was a big*(editor’s… Read More »

The Best Draft Picks of All Time

Grandiose title, eh?! The following are based on Davey Enterprises super secret formula, but to give a slight peak behind the curtain the following are based on WAR, with PL WAR being worth roughly twice as much as 3L WAR. At times where it makes sense to adjust the formula to fit the narrative I… Read More »

2034 Mid-Season Review

You’re all doing a terrible job. Here’s specifically what you’re doing wrong. PL Boston (33-21) – 9th in home runs and 9th in walks. These weaklings don’t even have a player with double digit home runs. And we haven’t even got to the part about the four shoulder injuries. Buckhead (31-23) – The Ties are… Read More »

2034 Season Preview

If there’s one life lesson I can pass onto you, it’s that you should never try. If there are two life lessons I can pass onto you, it’s that you should never try and it’s always easier to deconstruct something that already exists rather than inventing something new. With that, I give you my 2034… Read More »

2034 NoVa Hall of Fame Ballet

Kerry is very inspiring. He has inspired me. 3B Ray Sears Ray Sears is the best defender in the history of our league. He’s also the best offensive 3B in the history of our league, unless you consider Pedro Willis a 3B. Pedro retired in 2024 after playing 6 games for Ft. Worth – I… Read More »