Welcome back to The Only Award That Matters™ – Mermaid Tails: The Most Holistic and Inclusive Awards in All of USBA. Please only use the image below if your player wins an award. Any violators of this rule will face swift and violent persecution. Premier League C – Stanley Johnston, Hollywood While Seattle’s Juan Rivera… Read More »
I guess I’m most bothered by these awards where people can’t admit they’re wrong. If you organize the world by WAR (or wOBA or wRC or FIP or whatever) I’m sure it’s easy and everything is clear, but you’re also a soulless ghoul. With that I present to you Mermaid Tails: The Most Holistic and… Read More »
Gather ’round, baseball enthusiasts, for the dawn of the 2054 USBA season approaches with the subtlety of a brass band in a library! I’m Charles Dryden, longtime USBA correspondent and your guide and scribe through this impending saga of bats, balls, and bases. Prepare thyselves for an expedition into the heart of America’s grand pastime,… Read More »
It’s been a while, huh? Since we last did this six different teams have won the PL, so yay parity! We missed a Hollywood dynasty, and a near second Buffalo dynasty, I’m sure you all would have loved to read about that. Sorry. Anywho, I figured the only way to bring back something like this… Read More »
Ah, trade season, the time of year where every baseball mogul, rube, and rambler hopes to strike a deal that’ll be remembered for decades. So, here we are, ready to dissect these trades like a surgeon at a fish market! Onward, my baseball aficionados! Hollywood Shredders and Montana Pandas Play the Ol’ Moneyball The Hollywood… Read More »
Act I: The Premier Pantomime Ah, the New Orleans Voodoo – the fresh darlings of the Premier League! Just as their moniker suggests, there’s something mystical in the Bayou air. Their Cuban sensation, Eduardo Lopez, is said to have arrived in the US of A by sailing on a raft fashioned from discarded baseball bats,… Read More »
Everybody wants to get famousBut you just want to dance in a basementYou don’t care if anyone is watchingJust as long as you stay in motion Keep dancing in the basement, my 3L lovelies. Vancouver Wolf Pups (74-34, 1st place in the 3L, is totally going to come back…) What they should do: They gotta… Read More »
Trapped in purgatoryA lifeless object, aliveAwaiting reprisalDeath will be their acquittanceThe sky is turning redReturn to power draws nearFall into me, the sky’s crimson tearsAbolish the rules made of stone Welcome to the Silver League! Nova Scotia Kracken (68-40, 1st place in the SL, thinks his team could have done better) What they should do:… Read More »
Having conquered the traditional KNORTS format by predicting basically everything correct in the 2045 season, the geniuses at Davey Industries have decided it’s time for a change. With a slight tweak to our formula, we’re now able to predict the offseason! In the interest of getting more Click Engagement™ (and so I get paid for… Read More »
The rules for the Tuna Star game are the same every year, each batting position will have a starter and a backup. Five starting pitchers and five relief pitchers. Each team needs to have at least one player in the Tuna Star game. First year in the SL and I went all homer. Last year… Read More »